Travel and lifestyle blogger Angel is planning to make it big. It’s just that the journey is proving a little hard. After weeks of outfit preparation and planning, Angel’s domestic flight to Kisumu is delayed.
She is seen pacing the departure lounge, complaining loudly on the phone to her bestie, bemoaning the fact that the flight is so late that she’s going to miss the sunset (the Holy Grail of instagrammable posts). Stakes are high. Angel wants to be nominated for a blog award so she needs good content.
“This travel post is, like, the whole reason I booked the trip!”
Later, Angel enters the hotel juggling suitcases while taking pics and recording selfie videos on her smartphone. Fellow guests vaguely wonder if she’s a celebrity but if so, where is her entourage? At the front desk, Angel insists on a room with a view. The receptionist explains that this is a budget hotel with no views to speak of, yet Angel is undeterred.
“Don’t you know I’m a blogger, with 20k followers? Just one post on my website would blow this place up!” The receptionist looks alarmed before Angel adds, “Like, in a good way.”
There’s a lot of unpacking and organising to do in the room. Angel checks the likes on all of her channels and throws a few back at her fans. She falls asleep cocooned in full face mask and hair wrap. Tomorrow will be a big day.
At breakfast, Angel balances on a chair to take an overhead shot of her food. A waiter hovers, ready to catch her when she falls. She’s wearing a floaty dress and gladiator sandals and has already taken 20 toe selfies against a blue sky. She may still change her nail varnish to see if a different colour works better with the day’s vibe.
Angel’s friend, Tony, comes to the hotel to meet for lunch. They greet one another amid a flurry of hugs and air kissing. However, the mood doesn’t last long when Angel balls him out for biting into his burger before she had a chance to photograph it. He hesitates before taking the next mouthful.
“I could order another,” he offers.
Before he knows it, Tony is roped into an impromptu photo shoot. Angel orders white wine so that she can take a photo of the sky through the glass, then proceeds to carry it around as a prop.
Next, she splashes in the hotel pool while Tony is relegated to dry land with the camera in order to take the perfect hair flick, bikini, belfie pic.
After an hour and much discomfort, Angel is still unhappy with the pictures and suggests a change of venue. “I don’t like that view of my butt, my hair is not on fleek, my makeup ran.”
Undaunted, Angel is keen to keep going. “Let’s head into town for a street style feature?”
Tony, downing the warm glass of wine, suggests that Angel goes solo into town and, after another of her outfit changes, pushes her into a waiting tuk-tuk with a smile and a wave. “Gotta catch up with some friends,” he says. “Sorry I didn’t get the pics you wanted.”
Angel seems unfazed. “I’m definitely going to profile you in my next post,” she says between takes of live vlog recording.
“It’s okay, really, I’m good.” Tony says.
The noisy tuk-tuk engine starts up. Angel is arranging her hair and looking at her phone as the vehicle lurches forward. “Thanks so much, Tony. Oh, and don’t forget to vote, like, share, subscribe…”
Frances is author of blog Africanexpatwivesclub.com
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